Today's the 100th day of me and you,
Yesterday I read your blog.
And found out, you don't really care 'bout me, do you?

So that's it isn't it?
I'm just another replacement, and now you have what you wanted I become another unused toys, thrown away, forgotten.
When we first started, we talked about life during the holidays, how we could spend time together, how it would be much fun going to your house showing me your kindergarten pictures.
\
I imagined us being together... happy.
I even prepared a 100th day present. But bitch I think you'll never get it...

Now you have what you want, everything you were so happy about, you had it back.
And me? nothing else...just forgotten...as if nothing ever happened. As if I never existed.

You told me you wouldn't change.
You told me you would be with me as long as I called.

And now you're so busy with your fucking activities, guess you just forget,you don't need me no more.

Bitch I guess I should never said yes. I should just tell you I'm not interested.
I should just let you rot there.
Let you have NOTHING to think about. NOTHING TO CLING ON.

So I guess your daddy was right. You're nothing but a selfish bitch, you think you're the only one who get hurt do you? You think you're the only miserable one? You think YOUR life is bad?
Bitch you have no idea.

And I regret I even WENT OUT with you.
I should've never said yes.
I should've said no and let you rot. And maybe perhaps keep a better relationship with someone who really cared.

Depressed

There I go again... depressed... feels like the whole world don't care cuz I'm a bad person after all...
Everyone out there is having fun while I'm in my room, being depressed and bored....
Feels like a failure and a loser.. as always... going back to the past that Ive been avoiding all these time... guess it doesn't really matter after all... all those hard work I've put in...it'll go to waste someway or another... such a failure being a human being...
whenever i look at pictures in fb in other ppl's profile i get so jelous that they can have the life that they are having... whatabout me? M I TAT bad? do ppl seriously feel unsafe around me? misuderstanding as they can be... i think i'm beggining to loose myseld AGAIN...
perhaps its sorta my destiny
like its in my genes...
bored and depressed.... =.=

My name is Osama Bin Laden, my hobby is killing ppl hus skin color is whiter than me, i'm currently in hell now... guess what? i made a new best friend... his name is hitler... he likes barbie too, we play every time during breaktime when we r nt being whipped... its nice having a friend
;0

i understand now...
i understand it completely~
if it wusnt those 3, i wont b wud i m now.
hahaha...
i found da answer, all i hav 2 do is hav da rite thinkin liao i'm FREE!
giahahha! so happy!
prloplaply slining slongs wlite now!
those 3, da devils, i shoulda juz treat dem as equals, defeat da devil inside me.
L, J, and T!!!
TEHHE@

Dear Diary,
gurney wuz kinda fun, we played instruments in a shop and got scolded by the shopkeeper.
Giahaha!
Yuki Lim washed her feet in the female's toilet while i, who had more sense washed my feet in the disabeled ppl's restroom.
we went up an escalator which is going down.
i pierced bck my ear hole.
We lied to the ticket seller we were oni 12 years old so we could get a discount, the ticket seller looked at us 4 awhile and Yuki nearly laugh her ass off.
i weared high heels juz 4 da fun of it while the shopkeeper juz look at us.
i said "welcome to Malaysia" to strangers.
n i think tat's it.
skyline wuz a weird movie.

Dear diary,
It had been a long time since I've written in you.
Guess what?
I found the joy of typing and posting in blogger.

WAD ABOUT ABNORMAL PPL????

SHIT ALL THOSE SHITTY ADVICES, you know the thing about parents is if they don't experienced something before, and you are having that problem, all they do is just say " pls dun do that ok? I'll beat 'ya up if i find u doing that... AGAIN!"

OK. I'll say the truth about me. I'm an abnormal gal and Peng Hua is to blame. Peng Hua secondary school messed up my head. If it isn't Peng Hua I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now.

I'm a lesbian.

K! I KNOW!
IT'S DISGUSTING!
but I can't help it!

That's the problem.
I have no one to speak to my problems to, they'll euther find me disgusting or whatever they are thinking. This school messed up my life man....

THE ONLY PPL I CAN TALK THESE STUFF ABOUT:
Amanda lau( oso a les)
evangeline( an ex-les)
Melissa Lau( Amanda's twin sis)

other ppl juz treat it as entertainment and laugh it off. Well, I just blend in, laughing and saying I';m disgusting and treat it as a joke. But deep inside I'm cutting myself.

I can't keep it anymore!
I HAVE to tell you! So i posted this.
I JUZ WANT TO.
I don;t care wad passer-by think about me and i believe they wouldn't even care how i think so we could juz dun care u i dun care me something like that!

I AM UNDER PRESSURE~